Give Me a Sign
by HouseofWolves06
Summary: "You feel it too Joa, I know it… The Force spared your life that day for a reason. And now I know it was for you to join me." "Knowing what you've become, I wish it hadn't." *LONGER SUMMARY INSIDE* Kylo Ren/Ben Solo x OC
1. I: Bad Feelings

**HELLO FOLKS! Lemme set the scene:**

 **Little ol me about to watch TFA with my boyfriend (I missed the opportunity to when it was in the cinema and it took me forver to get a dvd.) and literally within about 10 minutes I was hooked! I had already seen Rogue one at this point and I friggin love it. When I was little i wasn't too bothered about Star Wars, for some reason, but right now its literally the best thing thing in the world.**

 **Don't get me wrong, TFA has its flaws, but what movie doesn't? I enjoyed it, it was good fun. I like what I lil story popped into my mind a bout a week later and thought it'd be cool to write it down. I was bored and couldn't be bothered to do actual work for school... Plus Adam Driver is hot af and an excellent actor...**

 **Here we go~~~**

* * *

 **Summary**

 **"You feel it too Joa, I know it… The Force spared your life that day for a reason. And now I know it was for you to join me."  
** **"Knowing what you've become, I wish it hadn't."  
** **A ghost. That's all she possibly could have been. Joa Axfow, former pupil of Luke Skywalker, was meant to die that day of the massacre, along with the others. It seemed fate had other ideas… or was it a subconscious decision of Kylo Ren to spare her life?**

 **Kylo Ren/Ben Solo x OC pairing**

 **Rating: (M), some scenes of a violent and sexual nature, with mature language**

 **Set: During the events of TFA**

 **Genre: Romance/Hurt**

 **First in a possible series**

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Chapter 1: A Bad Feeling

Joa sat at the bar, taking a long gulp of her drink and glanced around the room. Smugglers, bounty hunters and a whole mish-mash of life from all over the galaxy congregated at the Cantina. Everyone was with somebody, be it a friend, co worker or paid 'entertainment', every single person in the room was with somebody.

Except for Joa. She was alone.

The 26 year old had been alone for a long time now and that is the way she liked it. She only wished to live out the rest of her days in peace. Away from the politics of the collapsing New Republic, away from the resistance… and anything that would remind her of him.

Joa Axfow kept her mind busy by taking on jobs. Be they smuggling jobs, transportation requests or even simple engineering repairs. Any old job would satisfy her. She didn't do it for the money, she did it to keep herself busy. If she was busy she'd forget about her past. Or so she told herself.

But when a job ended, memories has the nasty little habit of creeping back into the forefront of her mind. That is why she drank.

Joa ran a hand through her short silver hair, and tucked one of the little braid that hangs on either side of her face behind her ear. She looked at the reflection of herself in her drink. Her green eyes looked tired and the dark circles forming underneath them didn't help much. She hadn't had a good night's sleep in years. Always using the majority of her energy to keep alert. She was a paranoid creature. With good reason.

"Sarabi Cooke?" A voice called from the front door. The noise of the cantina halted when the new visitor announced his presence by shouting out one of Joa's pseudonyms. She thought it to be too dangerous to use her real name. She really wanted to stay hidden.

"Yo!" Joa raised her hand and all eyes were on her momentarily. The patrons of the cantina continued with their business and the man at the door walked up to her. His face was hidden under a cloak and Joa noticed a small droid wheeling behind him. It was a BB unit and the unique orange markings seemed eerily familiar to her.

 _Oh shit_ she thought, rolling her eyes. She did recognise the droid. Meaning the man in the cloak could only have been…

"Poe Dameron." Joa said between sips, revealing his identity. "To what do I owe this pleasure?" She was being sarcastic of course. She knew Leia had sent him. Leia had been searching for 3 years to find the girl, after she left Han, but to no avail. Until now.

"Good to know you still remember me." Poe greeted, lowering his hood. "What gave me away?"

"Is that a serious question?" She raised an eyebrow, pointing to the small round droid at his feet. BB-8 beeped, happily, greeting her. Joa patted it on the head. "Hey BB-8."

She had not known Poe Dameron as well as he might have hoped, but they spent a reasonable amount of time getting to know one another while she was still a part of the resistance. So she wouldn't call their relationship one of 'friends' but more or less colleagues, borderlining acquaintances.

"Can't argue with that… He just really wanted to see you."

"Now that we've completed the pleasantries. What do you want?"

Poe raised his hands in a defensive gesture. "Whoa! Straight to the point I see." He lowered his hands and took a seat next to Joa.

Neither one said anything momentarily, the only sounds being those of the rowdy patrons surrounding them. Poe lifted his cloak to reveal a small satchel on his side, he opened the satchel and retrieved an envelope of sorts. The paper was crisp and white and on the front in neat calligraphy clearly stated 'Joa Axfow'. Joa immediately recognized it as the precise and delicate handwriting of Leia Organa. She sighed.

"The general wanted me to deliver this to you. It's of vital importance you read it as soon as." Poe's face formed a serious expression, one Joa had hardly seen him make. It must have been serious.

She took the letter from his hands and inspected it. She shot a quick glance at the young pilots face before retrieving a small dagger from her belt. She slide the top of the envelope open with the blade and opened the letter. She began reading:

 _Joa,_

 _My dear, I have not forgotten your request to be left alone, but my request is of vital importance. So I will get straight to the point._

 _The influence of the First Order is growing phenomenally. The regime of the New Republic is slowly declining. I fear peace in the galaxy is at threat. We at the resistance cannot risk another Empire. Too many lives are at stake._

 _The resistance has discovered a possibility of a map revealing the location of my brother, and your former master; Luke. As much as many would prefer to deny it, we need his assistance. The risk of the First Order catching wind if this plan is extremely high and we cannot allow them getting to Luke before us._

 _I know you are the last person in the Galaxy that wishes to be around your old master right now but I did not know who else to turn to… There is word the map can be found on Jakku, in the hands of Lor San Tekka. He trusts you. If you can retrieve it from him, it would be most helpful._

 _Han hasn't returned in some months now. I know he misses you dearly… We all do. No matter what has happened, you are still my daughter. Blood or not._

 _Please consider what I have said._

 _I hope you are well my dear.  
General Leia Organa_

Joa read and re-read the letter, gritting her teeth, a storm of emotions swirling inside her. She would love more than anything to be reunited with her family, but she left that life behind her and Leia was correct; she did _not_ wish to see Luke Skywalker again. He had left her while she was on death's door and abandoned everyone when they needed him the most. That is why she decided to leave behind the politics of the world she had grown up in and simply wanted to forget…. Forget everything before that day.

She was brought back to reality from her thoughts and reminiscing by BB-8's frantic beeping.

"I need to refuel. Both my ship and my stomach." Poe stated. "We leave at sun down. For D'Qar. I think the general expects you to be on the ship with me."

Joa chewed the inside of her cheek, a quirk she possessed whenever she was deep in thought. After a while she shook her head. Not really contemplating the request. She had already made up her mind. "No. I can't come back with you. There was a reason I left that life behind me. There is no way I can go back now."

"Please Jo-Saraabi." Poe quickly corrected himself. "You did not see the look in the general's eyes when she asked me to deliver this to you. She needs you. The resistance needs you."

"I'm sorry." He apologised, "I didn't realise it was still..."

Poe placed his hand on Joa's shoulder, but she flinched away at his touch.

"Yeah well it is." Joa downed the remainder of her drink and almost slammed the metal cup on the counter. "I've made a decision Dameron. I refuse. Find someone else." Joa grabbed her jacket, which was placed across the back of her chair and began walking away, done with the conversation.

Poe ran and blocked her path.

"You are in my way Poe." He made no effort to move out of her way.

"No. Please just hear me out-"

"Dameron if you do not move I will injure you. I am NOT going to discuss the matter any further!"

"Okay okay okay okay!" Poe quickly gave in. He knew she was stubborn, and it would do him no good arguing with her. He sighed a long and exasperated sigh. "I know there is no point arguing here but… The ship is a mile west of here. You know when we leave. I hope you'll change your mind."

She didn't make eye contact with Poe, but she knew how sincere he was being.

"C'mon BB-8," he called to his droid. BB-8 beeped a short goodbye and rolled after his master, who was walking out of the cantina. Joa watched his retreating figure and bag chewing the side of her cheek again.

A flurry of thought invaded her mind as she thought about the pros and cons of going with Poe.

 _It's the right thing to do … Why should I though? Just because it's right, doesn't mean I should… Should I?... No! It would be too much. There is no way!... Although..._

"I know that face." the cheery voice of Maz broke Joa from her thoughts. The little orange woman stood before her, one hand on her hip and the other adjusting her goggles. Her eyes grew in size as she adjusted the magnification. Joa couldn't help but snigger. Maz had become a good friend to Joa in the last 3 years she had spent drinking at the watering hole.

"What face?" She asked, feigning ignorance.

Maz shook her head. "You are in deep contemplation. It seems that young pilot has brought up some old conflicts within you." She hit the nail on the head.

 _How did she do that?_ Joa thought

"Because I know you too well young Axfow." The last part Maz whispered, as she worked out Joa's quizzical expression. "Tell me."

Joa let out a tired breath. "It's not that simple… I don't think it is something I want to share. Even with you Maz."

Maz shrugged. "Very well. I will not push you to tell me what you do not wish to discuss. But I know whatever it is, you will make the correct decision. Despite that face, you are a very intelligent girl." Maz walked away from Joa, going about her business.

Joa smiled, pleased Maz had called her intelligent. Yet her smile fell when she realised it was a backhanded compliment. "Hey! What about my face?!"

* * *

Poe sat in front of his ship. Chewing on piece of fruit and looking back in the direction Joa would walk in if she ultimately did decide she wanted to join him. The sun was almost about to set and he needed to make the decision whether or not to leave now, or wait a little bit longer.

Poe took a final bite of his fruit and lobbed the core on the ground. He stood, wiping any dirt off his trousers and looked in the distance, still hoping she would show.

Finally defeated he shook his head and motioned to BB-8 who was beside him to follow. Before he could take one step into his X-Wing however, the sounds of footsteps amongst dead leaves grabbed his attention. It was Joa. He smiled.

She ran as fast ash she could, a black satchel on her shoulders, just poking out of the brown poncho that was draped over her. She stopped before him, resting on her knees and panting, heavily.

"Damn… I'm really out of shape." she huffed and puffed. Poe laughed and poked her on the forehead.

"A second longer and we probably would have left without you. I'm glad you came to your senses."

Joa regained her regular breathing and stood up straight. Even when Po slouched he still towered over her, never the less, her size did not mean weakness.

"Yeah well your rousing yet short speech convinced me." She punched him into the arm. "We going or what?"

"Lady's first." Poe gestured towards the ship. Joa shook her head in disbelief.

 _I have a bad feeling I'm going to regret this._

* * *

 **Thank you for reading!  
** **Please let me know in the comments what you think, and if I should continue**

 _ **~J**_


	2. II: It Didn't Have to be That Way

**Wow I'm glad this got a good reception :) I already had this chapter written up so thought I might as well upload it. The first two chapters are just introductory chapters, so you guys can get a good idea of what Joa Axfow is like.**

 **LieNina: I'm glad this is easy for you to understand :) your English is excellent by the way**

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" _Ben….. Ben what have you done?!" Joa started in horror at the bloodbath before her. Her fellow jedi in training had been slain right there in the New Temple. They were only children. Her childhood friend stood above their bodies, clutching his lightsaber in both hands._

" _What needed to be done."_

" _What?" Joa couldn't believe what she was hearing. The boy turned around and showed his face. This was not the face of the boy she knew. His eyes were dark and hooded;as if he was possessed. His chest was heaving, and his gaze then fixed on Joa._

 _She knew she was in danger now. Her hand went to her waist where her lightsabre sat, and just hovered above the weapon. The boy began pacing slowly towards her, like a predator stalking its prey._

 _Joa's heart rate increased. She could sense a darkness emanating from him. Surrounding him. Almost suffocating her._

" _It doesn't have to be this way." Ben began, still slowly moving closer to her. "It doesn't have to end here Joa. The supreme leader needn't know."_

" _Ben you're scaring me. Please stop."_

" _I'm asking you to join me. I… We could still be together…" The boy kept walking toward her, lightsabre drawn and hunger in his eyes, until her back collided with a wall and she was cornered._

" _Please don't make me draw my weapon Ben." Her breathing was erratic and a bead of sweat formed on her forehead. She was scared and he could sense it. She mustered all the strength she had to raise her voice to him."Look at what you've done! They're all dead Ben!"_

" _Joa-"_

" _No!" She interrupted his thought by drawing her sabre and used it to push him back. Purple clashing with blue. The boy used his own to shield himself from her lightsabre and she took the opportunity in his shock to sprint for the exit._

 _Joa had made it to the handle before her throat suddenly felt constricted and she grasped it as she gasped for the breath that refused to enter her lungs. The boy, from across the room, used his newfound power to suffocate her._

" _B-ben…." she choked, struggling for breath._

 _The boy's expression changed. Hurt and betrayal was placed on his face and he shook from the anger. "Snoke said it was impossible for you to understand! That there was no way you would even CONSIDER joining the superior side! But I thought against it! I thought I could trust you Joa! Now I truly see what you are! Weak! A weakling and a liar!"_

 _He released her from his hold. She collapsed to the floor, coughing and spluttering for air._

 _In a flash he was above her and was about to bring his sabre down to strike her, but Joa reacted with such speed she managed to block his attack with hers. The boy was physically much stronger than she was. It had always been that way. She struggled against his force._

 _The boy moved his sabre from her face and began a barrage of attacks. Swinging with such precision, Joa found it difficult to keep up. The boy eventually knocked her sabre out of her hands and sliced across the chest. Not enough to cause serious harm but a cut deep enough that she crashed on her back clutching her wound. She winced from the pain._

 _He closed in on her, towering above her small frame. "Ben please…." She pleaded._

" _Ben Solo is dead…" he plunged his sabre into her chest earning a distressing cry from her. Blood seeped from her wound and he retracted his weapon. Before she slumped back, he took her head in his hand and placed her forehead on his._

 _He gripped her soft silver hair with one hand and held her waist with the other. "It didn't have to be this way." He repeated. His voice was shaky and if it wasn't for her blurred vision, Joa could have sworn he was crying._

 _Placing a kiss on her forehead, he gently lowered her to the floor and left._

 _Joa was dying._

 _The blood loss wouldn't end and she could feel herself getting weaker and weaker. He vision became dark, but before she passed out she heard frantic footsteps and shouting._

* * *

Joa rested her head in her hand as she leaned on the hand rests. She had been sleeping for a good hour now and Poe hadn't the heart to wake her as they began their descent.

Once he haa successfully landed the ship, he took the opportunity to look at Joa. She was an odd girl . Beautiful, he thought, but odd. Her oval face was perfectly framed by her long silver fringe, braids on either side that reached her shoulders. Her nose was round but small and freckles scattered across the bridge of her nose and cheeks. Her cheeks were rose tinted. She must have been warm. She had three piercings on each ear and wore a chain around her neck that held a small gold band. For as long as he knew her, Poe Dameron never saw Joa without a longsleeved shirt that simultaneously covered her neck. She hated showing her skin.

The corner of Poe's mouth twitched upwards into a crooked half smile. He nudged her gently away with his hand.

"Hey, we're here."

Joa stirred and blinked several times before fully opening her eyes and looking out the window. They were on the hangar of the resistance base.

She yawned deeply. "Home sweet home."

On the ground she saw a woman approaching the ship. It was Leia. Joa gasped quietly. She new she was going to see Leia after she had requested her return, yet she was still taken aback.

"C'mon. Let's get down there. I'm sure she is as eager to see you as you are to see her." Poe was right. Ever since she could remember, leia had been a mother to her. Her genetic mother dying in childbirth and her father following soon after, Han and Leia took her in and raised her as their own. She quickly formed a strong and deep friendship with their son, Ben Solo. Joa was unsure how Leia was to react to her return. SHe had left the base so abruptly she wasn't sure if Leia was angry or not with her.

Joa made her way off the ship and stood a few feet away from the general. Leia smiled, a wide and sweet smile and enveloped her in a warm embrace.

"Oh my dear it has been too long." She said, squeezing her tightly.

Joa stood still in shock. But quickly came to her senses and returned the hug. She buried her head in the crook of her foster mother's neck. "It is good to see you too, Leia."

Leia stood back to get a better look at her and placed a hand on her cheek. "Still having your hair short I see." Joa smiled and nodded.

"Come, we have much to discuss."

* * *

Once settled, Joa joined Poe, Leia and other resistance personnel in the main meeting room to discuss their plans.

"No messing about I see." Joa whispered, crossing her arms, and leaning across the table they were all stood around.

"Times have changed Joa." Leia admitted with a sad sigh. "I fear the growing power of the First Order. The New Republic's peaceful rule over the galaxy is being diminished by their radical ideals. The First Order goes against everything we believe in and fought the Empire for. Unity in the galaxy is being threatened."

"So what's this about a map?"

"We have received word that Lor San Tekka has a map leading straight to Luke Skywalker's whereabouts." Leia pressed a button and a hologram appeared over the table. It was of a planet. "This is Jakku. Mostly desert, but it is where Tekka resides." Leia then looked directly at Joa. "Joa I know you knew him well. He would trust you with the map."

"I see…" Tekka was a paranoid man, for good reason. He and Joa go way back, to her training days. While they were not close, he never had reason to doubt her. She was, or at least in the Resistance's eyes, was the only person to retrieve such information.

"Since Luke disappeared that day, he was believed to be dead. But I know he is still alive. And we need him more than ever."

"Ms. Axfow, I am glad you have decided to help us, even considering your history with Skywalker." One of the members around the table had said. "While the risk is great, I believe you are more than capable."

"Captain Rhodes is correct, Joa. I have seen you blossom from a strong willed little girl into a formidable young woman. The Resistance has the utmost faith in you."

Joa began chewing the side of her cheek. Whiles she appreciated the praise she was receiving, she couldn't help but feel an immense amount of pressure on her shoulders.

"My dear," Leia continued, "We must act fast if we are to get to Tekka. I have a feeling we are not the only ones who know of this map's existence. Poe Dameron will be piloting the mission to Jakku. We must be the first and only ones to reach there."

Joa thought in silence, looking down at her feet. Not making eye contact with anyone. She knew it was the morally right thing to do. If they don't get to Jakku before anyone else, who knows what could happen.

Eventually, when the Resistance officials began their murmurings, unsure whether she would accept the mission, She spoke. "Alright. I'll do it. But you have to promise me this is the only thing you ask of me." Leia raised a quizzical eyebrow. "Once the map is retrieved and on D'Qar. I return to my life. I do not wish to be involved in Resistance matters after this. I do not wish to be on the 'Luke Skywalker' retrieval team"

Leia gave her a sad smile. "If that is what you wish."

The next day Poe and Joa began preparations for Jakku. She was stocking the ship with essentials when Leia began walking up to the young woman.

"My dear you have no idea how grateful I am to you. If there was anyone else you know I would-"

"IT's okay. I know how important this is to you…"

An uncomfortable silence filled the air and Leia placed a hand on Joa's shoulder. She always knew when she was anxious and always did her best to comfort her foster daughter.

"Where is Han?" Joa finally said, after a whole minute of silence.

Leia tried to hide her sadness at the mention of his name. "He… Hasn't returned in six months. I haven't had contact with him in four."Joa wasn't surprised. Han had often done things like that. Even when she travelled with him briefly for years after the New Jedi Temple was destroyed. She removed Leia's hand from her shoulder and gave it a quick squeeze. To tell her 'everything was okay'.

"All ready?" Poe's voice called from the entrance of the ship, BB-8 beeping at his feet.

"Coming!"

Before Joa could run to the ship, Leia pulled her in for a quick hug goodbye. "Be safe." She whispered, tightening the embrace. "And don't do anything stupid."

Joa chuckled. "No promises." The hug ended and Joa ran to the ship and stood in front of Poe and the little round drid by his feet.

"You ready?" he asked.

She shrugged. "As I'll ever be."

With a quick wave to Leia, Joa, Poe and BB-8 boarded the ship and within minutes it took off and they headed for Jakku.

Watching the ship get smaller and smaller in the distance, Leia couldn't help but feel sombre. Her chest clenched tight, having negative awareness of things to come.

* * *

Across the galaxy, sat in his chambres on the Star Killer base; Kylo Ren stood by his window, looking into the night sky feeling stirrings in the force.

"Lord Ren," a stormtrooper, standing behind the door to his chambers, called him out of his musings, "Your ship has been prepared. Course set for Jakku, sir."

Kylo waved him away and the trooper left.

Finally, he was getting somewhere. This map was to be the key to Luke Skywalker's whereabouts.

What he didn't know was the ghosts of his pasts were too waiting for him on Jakku.

* * *

 **I know it's short, but I promise the next upcoming chapters will be much longer!**

 **Reviews are always welcomed! (And even encouraged :P)**

 _ **~J**_


	3. III: Reunion

**Hey sorry this took so long, but I had stuff n thangs to do.**

 **Thanks to all the people who commented/followed/favourited. It means a lot.**

 **ENJOY CHPATER 3!**

* * *

Pain.

 _All Joa could feel was pain. A white hot searing fire that began in her chest and spread throughout her entire body._

 _The pain was instantaneous, and lasted for what felt like days._

 _As the pain began to fade, a numbness took over. Her body limp, frozen…. And numb. Like she was suspended in mid air, with no way of escaping._

 _After the numbness wore off, Joa's ears picked up the sounds of machines beeping, voices muttering, and her own deep breathing. Cheeks twitching, she fluttered her eyes open and was almost blinded by the white light of the room she found herself in._

 _Her vision began adjusting and she took in her surroundings. She was in a white room. Clean and sterile. She was in a medical room of sorts. Hooked up to a machine doing god knows what to her._

 _She looked down and noticed she was dressed in a pristine white medical gown. A large scar protruding from the fabric. She pulled the collar down to reveal the scar stretched from her neck towards her heart, some slashes remained on her arm also. The wound still had stitches but looked as if it began to heal._

 _Then the realisation hit her. She had just been stabbed with a lightsabre. And survived._

 _She didn't want to believe it, but the memories played over and over in her mind. Ben Solo had killed their fellow padawans, and almost killed her._

" _Ben…" She muttered. Voice raspy and dry._

 _Her heart rate increased and her lips began to shake. The machines beeped louder and faster from the changes in her body._

 _A droid whizzed to her sized and took readings from the machines she was connected to._

 _The door to the room swung open to reveal and rather tired and frantic Leia and Han. The ran to her side._

" _Oh thank goodness you're awake!" Leia exclaimed placing one hand on her head and the other on her arm. Han stood by her side and stared down at Joa with concern._

" _How you feeling kiddo?" He asked._

" _I…" Joa's throat was dry and she honestly didn't know how to answer that question. How would you feel if you had just been stabbed? "How long was I-?"_

" _Three weeks." Leia answered. "It didn't look like you were to wake up at all."_

" _The doctor said the sabre was only half an inch away from your heart. The odds of you surviving were extremely low."_

 _Joa simply nodded. Still reliving the nightmare. She clutched Leia's hand tightly. She was shaking in disbelief still. She stared blankly at the wall opposite her bed. Deep in thought._

 _They were silent for a while. The droids, nurses and doctors walking in an out, asking her questions, and she nodded or shook her head in response, not saying a word._

 _When they were alone, Leia and Han attempted to ask her questions of their own._

" _Can we get you anything?"_

" _Are you hungry? Thirsty even?"_

" _Do you wish to be alone?" and so on._

 _Each question was still met with silence, and Joa shaking her head in answer to all._

" _Oh, I just remembered." Han said, reaching into his pocket, taking out a chain, a single gold ring dangling at the end. "They found this with you. I'm afraid it broke and one of the rings was lost. We couldn't find the second ring...I managed to fix it though."_

 _Joa looked at his hand. There were two rings. Her parents wedding bands. Her father died a month before she was born and her mother followed him in childbirth. Their rings were the only possessions they had and Joa kept them close to her at all times. The chain must have broke in the struggle._

 _She reached her hand out and Han dropped it into her palm. She closed it tight and brought her hand to her lap. Staring at her closed fist she rubbed the stitches with her free hand and clenched her eyes shut._

 _Then, she spoke, finally opening her eyes and looking at her guardians. "Where is Master Luke?"_

 _Leia and Han looked at one another. They didn't know how to explain it to her._

" _Joa…" Han began. "Luke hasn't been seen since… you know… He's … gone…"_

 _She scrunched her eyebrows in confusion. "Wha- how? Please don't say Ben-"_

" _No no no dear, He is alive." Leia assured her. "At least… we think he is. Luke was the one who brought you to the healers… Then he simply…. Left."_

 _Joa's eyes widened in shock. Luke had… disappeared?_

" _He can't be." She shook her head and removed the thin bed sheet from her and swung her legs over the bed, got up and tried to make it to the door. "I have to find him, we have to find him-"_

" _Joa please get back into bed!"_

" _Wait a minute kid!-"_

" _I need to go find him!" She protested, wincing as she unhooked herself from the machine. Joa took one step towards the door and collapsed. She was still very weak. Han and Leia ran to her side, both trying to support her._

" _We have to fix this. Luke is the only one who can… We have to!"_

 _Joa groaned and clutched her chest where her stitches were. She had popped one and blood stained the white gown. She began sniffling._

" _It's all my fault…." She whispered. Large tears clouded her vision and streaked her cheeks. The tears fell at her knees. "It's all my…." Joa shrieked in despair. Emotions overwhelming her._

 _Han brought her face to his chest and Leia enveloped them in her arms. Joa knelt on that floor and cried. Staining Han's shirt and clung to him tightly like a scared child._

" _None of this is your fault…" Han reassured her._

 _She cried for hours, eventually tiring herself out, inevitably falling asleep in Han and Leia's arms. Han carried her small frame on the bed and tucked her in._

* * *

Joa clenched her hands into fists as she rested them on her lap, Poe had began their decent on the desert planet. It had been a long journey but they had finally made it to Jakku. It was night when they arrived; stars shining brightly in the pitch black sky, no artificial light to pollute the night sky and obscure the stars. They landed on the outskirts of a small village, couldn't be any more than a few hundred inhabitants. It was here that Lor San Takka had resided .

She hopped out of the ship, wrapped in her poncho, hood up and her hand in her pockets. It was a bit too cold for her liking and she tried to shake it off. Poe and BB-8 emerged from their ship and joined her.

"Okay you ready?" he asked zipping his jacket up.

"Yeah," She nodded, taking a piece of paper out of her trouser pocket. "According to the coordinates, he should be in one of the huts near the centre." Joa pointed towards a hut where coinsidently an elderly man, fitting San Lor Tekka's description was entering. Poe nodded towards the hut and the three entered the desert village.

With few villagers awake at this hour, Joa, Poe and BB-8 found it easy to maneuver their way over to the hut. The small amount of villagers that were awake and outside, greeted them with curious stares. The village itself was quite isolated from any towns or cities, and as well as having little technological advances, made little to no contact with strangers and hardly had visitors.

Joa dragged her boots across the sand, can't help but feeling a strange heaviness in the pit of her stomach. She had very keen senses and when her gut said something was wrong, she never ignored it.

"We'll have to keep on alert. I'm getting a pretty strong feeling something bad is gonna happen."

Poe scoffed. "You worry too much. We'll be fine." In responses BB-8 began beeped. "See even BB-8 agrees. Don't get too worked up. I promise everything will be fine."

Joa twisted her face in uncertainty. "I hope for everyone's sake, you're right."

When they arrived outside the hut, Poe stopped Joa with his hand before she could knock on the side to let the inhabitant know of their presence.

"Wait a sec, I'll go in first. To make sure we're at the right place. I don't particularly want any Tom Dick and Harry knowing ~what~ you are. Don't need to be drawing any unnecessary attention to ourselves. We don't know these people." He whispered

"What I _was."_ Joa corrected, in a half shout half whistler. "But fine. If you really must. Don't be too long!"

"I can hear you out there." A voice called from inside the hut. Joa and Poe pursed their lips.

The resistance pilot entered first, BB-8 and Joa waiting outside like they had agreed.

"Resistance…" The old man mused pointing to the emblem on Poe's jacket. "To what do I owe the pleasure? Please sit."

Poe agreed and sat opposite the old man on a wooden chair. His dwellings were humble, nothing but the essentials. A simple stove in the corner, where a few pans and plates at atop, a simple bedroom was through the archway and a small table with two chairs and rug where he and Poe now sat.

"I think you may already know why I'm here." Poe said, in a matter-of-fact way.

" _I?_ And that person standing outside my home, ear pressed up against the door, is _not_ in your company?"

Joa was shocked at how sharp his awareness still was. She entered slowly and saw the small smile from his face drop.

"Joa?" He asked, not believing what he saw. "You are alive?"

Joa smiled and shrugged. "It seems so."

"My dear you have truly... grown. Please, please sit! I know what you came for. As soon as this came within my possession, I had to discreetly alert the resistance. It was not easy to get the message out without informing the First Order at the same time."

Joa dragged a small wooden stool form the corner of the room and sat next to Poe. Tekka fished a small pouch from his robes and handed it to Joa. She held out her hand and he dropped it in, folding her fingers back. "This will begin to make things right. I've travelled too far and seen too much to ignore the despair in the galaxy." He leaned back into his chair and laced his fingers together. He then looked Joa dead in the eyes. "Without the Jedi, there can be no balance in the Force."

"Well because of you, now we have a chance." Poe said, and Joa handed the pouch to him to place in his bag. "The general's been after this for a long time."

"Oh 'the General'? To me, she's royalty."

Suddenly, the little orange droid hastily burst through the door, chirping excitedly. The strange feeling in Joa's stomach became stronger.

"We got company." She said, feeling the presence of the First Order closing in.

They all ran outside to survey the area. The villagers were shouting in warning at one another and dread was in the air. Po got out his binoculars and looked ahead. With a serious expression, he lowered them. "You have to hide."

"You two have to leave." Tekka pleaded. "Now, go!" Joa took his hand in hers and squeezed it tightly. Her way of saying thank you. He replied with a silent nod.

"C'mon." She said to her companions and they began sprinting for their ships. Villagers exited their huts to see what the commotion was and warning bells echoed in the desert.

Joa, Poe and BB-8 ran as fast as they could to escape, leaping over anything in their way and Poe holding his bag close to his chest.

The villagers began to open fire on the arriving First Order stormtroopers, and they received the same. Shouting and screams came from the unarmed villagers and Joa winced knowing she could not turn around, or risk jeopardising the mission.

"Come on BB-8 Hurry!" Poe shouted at his droid, climbing into the helm of his ship.

Joa rushed to her and climbed in at the same time. They revved their engines and through their earpieces attempted to co ordinate a take off.

"Blast that X-Wing!"

"Over there! Over there!"

Stormtroopers yelled orders at one another and shots rained down on their engine was blasted to the point of near explosion. They had no way of escape.

Her breathing became fast paced, worry was beginning to settle into her mind. Hopping out of her the ship, she inspected the damage then Joa banged on the glass, blasting any approaching stormtroopers with the balster she retrieved. "Poe we gotta move on foot. The engine's busted."

Poe jumped down and joined her and BB-8 wheeled beside them. They looked around at all the destruction that was occurring. Poe grabbed the pouch out of his bag and practically though it at Joa. "Take this, BB-8 and get out of here. It will be much safer with you than it is with me."

"What?! I'm not leaving without you!"

"Well we don't got a lot of options at the moment. I'll try buy you some time. You and BB-b get as far away from here as you can. No arguing! GO!" Poe ran towards the commotion, without even giving You a chance to change his mind. She looked down at BB-8 and bent down to his level.

"He's either mad or stupid if he thinks he can do this alone." Joa pressed a compartment on the droid's round body and a holder hiss out. She took the contents of the pouch out and placed it into BB-8's compartment. Joa tapped on his head "I promise to come back for you. Me and Poe. Alright?" BB-8 chirped in agreement and rolled as fast as he could away.

Joa raced towards the blaster fire, blaster in hand, hood up and a scarf covering her mouth. She landed beside Poe and joined him in taking down the attacking stormtroopers.

"What? Are you crazy?!" He exclaimed in between blasts. "I told you to run!"

"Don't worry I gave the map to BB-8. I wasn't in full consciousness going to let you do this on your own now was I?!"

"You really are stubborn.!"

"Damn straight!" Joa was an excellent shot and every target she aimed at was hit. Trying to protect the innocent villagers from being slaughtered. Poe's firing halted and he looked into the sky. Joa followed suit and looked towards his gaze.

A large black imperial shuttle landed on the sand before the chaos. Joa's eye grew as wide as saucepans.

 _Its him… He- He's on that ship._ Joa's thoughts screamed at her. She froze in her spot.

"He's here." She said, almost hushed. Her hands began to shake. Poe noticed this and dropped his blaster, to hold her hands and hold her down behind the dunes to shield them.

"Joa! Hey Joa! You need to calm down!"

Out from the shuttle appeared 4 stormtroopers and in front of them was a masked man in black robes. He had a menacing aura surrounding him and Joa immediately sense his presence.

Kylo Ren.

He scanned the village and immediately made his way to his men, who were holding San Lor Tekka. The surviving villagers were placed in a circle in the centre of the village, with stormtroopers surrounding them, blasters pointed in their direction.

No one had seemed to have spotted the position Joa dn Poe where hiding in and Joa used everything in her powers to keep their presence hidden from Ren.

"Look how old you've become." the robotic voice of Kylo Ren stated to Tekka.

"Something far worse has happened to you.."

Ren felt a stirring in the force he could not quite place. Ignoring the feeling for now he looked back to Tekka. "You know what I've come for." He said referring to the map.

 _Shit!_ Joa cursed in her head. _We should have come sooner!_

"I know where you come from. Before you called yourself Kylo Ren."

"The map to Skywalker. We know you found it. And now you're going to give it to the First Order."

"The First Order rose from the dark side." Tekka was still trying to reason with him. "You did not."

"I will show you the dark side." Ren was becoming impatient now.

"You may try. But you cannot the deny the truth that is you family."

Kylo Ren's demeanor changed almost instantly. "You are so right." He released his red lightsaber from beneath his robes and as it crackled in the wind, he quickly cut Tekka down. It was quick, but Joa knew it was not painless. She gasped and quickly covered her mouth in shock. While she was facing the opposite direction and could not see what had happened, she could feel it.

Before she knew it, Poe ran out from behind the dune and fired his blaster. Ren, with cat-like reflexes known to jedi and sith, stopped the blast in mid air and froze the pilot in the process.

Two stormtroopers ran out and punched Poe in the gut, winding him and causing him to drop his blaster. After they had disarmed him, they brought him to his knees before Ren.

Kylo bent down and examined the attacker before hi. Due to the fact Ren had a mask on, Poe could not read his expression. "So who talks first? You talk first ? I talk first?"

Poe's stupid questions caused Joa to come out of her panic attack and look on at the scene, still hidden.

"tHe old man gave it to you." Ren deduced.

"It's just very hard to understand you with all the…"

"Search him."

"-apparatus." The stormtroopers grabbed Poe by the scruff of his neck, pulled him up and began frisking him. He was glad he had given the map tp Joa, who in turn gave it to BB-8, who was hopefully miles away from this scene.

"Nothing sir." The stormtrooper concluded his search.

"Put him on board." Ren ordered.

"Sir, the villagers?"

A eerie silence filled the air as everyone waited the instruction of Kylo Ren. "Kill them all."

Almost on instinct, Joa jumped up from behind the dune and raised her weapon to Ren. "Wait!"

The Stormtroopers then aimed at the newcomer, ready to fire. Ren recognised the voice of the woman who attempted to protect the villagers. He raised his hands to signal his men to hold their fire. Joa stood before him, no longer a teenager, but a matured woman, aiming her weapon at him. This was the presence he felt. He mentally scolded himself for not realising sooner.

"You want the map?You leave these people alive… And I will co operate."

Ren tilted his head to one side as if to say 'What could you possibly do?'

"Then I will spare your men." Joa was hoping he wouldn't call her bluff. She could easily take down half of his men but she was clearly outnumbered. She slowly lowered her gun and raised her hands to show she would go with them.

Ren almost chuckled at her bravado. But he knew she had information none the less so he was going to comply. In one last attempt to reason with him, Joa looked into his eyes - or wherever she assumed his eyes where- and mouthed 'please'

"Very well then. Leave them alive. Take her." He said without another word, surprising his men. He then entered the ship and out of Joa's vision.

The stormtroopers surrounded Joa and hauled her onto the shuttle. She was placed in a single holding cell with Poe. They were both then handcuffed and guarded.

"Hey." Poe nudged her. "You okay?"

"I'm fine." She lied. She was the most agitated she had been in a while. Knowing she'd have to face him as soon as they arrived to wherever they were heading to.

* * *

Ren took his seat on the shuttle, and stared at his boots. It really was her.

A whole storm of conflicting emotions swirled inside of him as he planned his next move. He would have to inform Supreme Leader Snoke of her. Unsure whether or not he would be displeased to know of her survival.

It had killed Ren to attack her that day, but he knew he didn't have a choice. The dark side was strong within him but it was the moment Joa had rejected his proposal to join him all those years ago pushed him over the edge.

He thought he killed her.

Ren was unsure if the emotion he was feeling was of relief… or dread. Either way he knew he needed to speak to Joa.

* * *

 **You know what to do!**

 _ **~J**_


End file.
